Thursday, October 27, 2005

The Royal Families

Jack Carter, drug abuser and son of former President Jimmy Carter, has announced he will benevolently save us all once he defeats John Ensign in his senatorial campaign.

He is running because he is frustrated with the current state of national affairs. Instead of having an agenda, political philosophy, or a clue what he’s doing, Carter is depending on his small town roots and a listening tour to decide his positions for him.

Carter, an investment consultant, has little experience with politics and his main claim to fame is that he smoked weed and dropped acid while in the US Navy. To be fair, he spent one whole day campaigning for the US house in 1980.

I don’t care who you are, do not vote for this man. He has no qualifications, he has no philosophy, and he has a dubious personal history. Why are we even talking about this lifelong ne’er-do-well?

It’s our political policy. Americans like electing royalty to the highest posts— if Jack had not inherited the last name “Carter,” nobody would care.

For evidence, take a look at our current government. The leadership of both major parties is made up of royals and nobles. In the Republican Party we have King George Bush the second and Crown Prince Jeb Bush pulling all the strings. Lord Steve Forbes, former presidential candidate and heir to the billion dollar Forbes empire, has shown he is willing to replace the house of Bush and to substitute the Imperial Forbes Dynasty. In the Democratic Party there is Duke Edward Kennedy, who inherited party leadership after the deaths of his brothers, King John and Barron Robert.

These people are royalty. None of them have ever done anything wonderful to earn any of their power. The real road to power seems to follow a slightly more haphazard course. Namely, do lots of drugs, spend the first thirty or so years of you life trying to land in a trailer park, have a few criminal children and then spend lots of daddy’s money ascending to the throne.

This aristocratic bunch is a slap in the face to the American Dream. Work hard and come up through the ranks my ass.

Please, please, please, learn a little about your candidates. Voting for someone based on their name is how we got into this mess.

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